In recent years Dr. Ben
Carson has not only become famous for his being the world’s premier brain
surgeon, but also a presidential hopeful. What many do not know is that because
of an uncontrollable temper as a child, Dr. Carson's career was almost over
before it began. In his autobiography, Take
the Risk, Dr. Carson writes about the day he invited God to help him deal
with this critical character flaw.
One day as 14 year-old boy
Carson got into a scuffle with another neighborhood boy. Young Carson became so
enraged that he pulled out a pocket knife and tried to stab the other boy.
Amazingly, Carson’s knife blade hit the boy’s belt buckle and it snapped.
Horrified by the realization of what he almost done—commit murder—Carson ran
home with tears streaming down his face.
Carson wrote, “I burst
into our empty house, locked myself in the bathroom, and sank to the floor,
miserable and frightened. I could no longer deny that I had a severe anger
problem, and that I'd never achieve my dream of being a doctor with an
uncontrollable temper. I admitted to myself there was no way I could control it
by myself. ‘Lord, please, you've got to help me,’ I prayed. ‘Take this temper
away! You promised that if I ask anything in faith, you'll do it. I believe you
can change me.’”
Carson continued, “I
slipped out and got a Bible. Back on the bathroom floor, I opened to the Book
of Proverbs. The words of Proverbs 16:32—‘He who is slow to anger is better
than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city’—convicted
me, but also gave me hope. I felt God telling me that although he knew everything
about me, He still loved me. I knew that because He made me, He was the only
one who could change me.”[1]
Someone has rightfully
said that “unchecked anger is a temporary form of insanity.” Paul helps us to
understand something important about anger—there is a difference between
appropriate anger and inappropriate anger—the difference between resentment or
rage and righteous indignation. In Ephesians 4:26-27, “Be angry and do not sin;
do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil.”
According to Paul, anger
is not necessarily wrong. As Christians we should be hot under the collar about
certain issues that involve injustice and evil. Remember when Jesus showed
righteous anger when he cleansed the temple of religious hucksters and money
changers?
But, what makes the
difference is why you got angry and what you did with those feelings. Sinful
anger is a choice and when it gets that far it’s because we’ve allowed it to
fester. Max Lucado writes, “Resentment
is when you let your hurt become hate. Resentment is when you allow what is
eating you to eat you up. Resentment is when you poke, stoke, feed, and fan the
fire, stirring the flames and reliving the pain. Resentment is the deliberate
decision to nurse the offense until it becomes a black, furry growling grudge.”[2]
The essence of Paul’s teaching
on anger is to diffuse the ticking bomb before it explodes. Deal with anger
promptly, privately and peacefully. If you’re married don’t go to bed each
facing the wall. If you’ve got a problem with friend or co-worker take them out
to coffee and talk it over rather than letting it simmer. If you are really mad
at someone and can’t even stand to look them in the face, then start praying about
it and ask God to soften your heart.
Jesus said in the Sermon
on the Mount that we should resolve our personal conflicts privately before we
ever try and worship publically, “So if you are offering your gift at the altar
and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift
there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then
come and offer your gift” (Mat. 5:23-24).
The reason we have to
attack anger is because the longer we stay bitter the more it opens the door of
your life so that the enemy can come in and wreak havoc! Sinful anger invites
Satan in to occupy a space in your heart. Once Satan begins his dastardly work
he will use that anger steal your joy, kill your spiritual growth and destroy
your inner peace. The cost of harboring anger is much, much greater than
swallowing your pride, and humbling yourself to work it out.
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