As a teen, young Billy Graham showed signs of rebellion. Billy wasn’t an out-of-control wild child, but he did get into his fair share of mischief – fistfights, chewing tobacco, and getting his father’s car stuck in a muddy sinkhole while trying to impress his buddies. When word got back to Billy’s dad, Frank, that the young man had been running around with boys who’d been experimenting with alcohol, he determined to “nip it in the bud,” as Barney Fife would say.
In his biography on Billy, author Greg Laurie explained that when Prohibition was repealed in 1933, Frank Graham brought home a case of beer, placed one bottle in front of Billy and one in front his sister, Catherine, then directed them to drink up. The shock of it not only made them green with sickness, but it turned them against the bitter brew for the rest of their lives. “From now on,” said Mr. Graham, “Whenever any of your friends try to get you to drink alcohol, just tell them you’ve tasted it, and you don’t like it.”
Later as an adult, Billy explained to a reporter why he was a teetotaler for another reason, “The Bible says if I do anything to make my brother stumble or fall then I’m not to do it. If people saw me sitting at a table drinking, they might say, ‘Well, Billy does it, so its alright for me’ and they may become alcoholics as a result of it. I want to be careful about my Christian witness.”[i]
Wow! Talk about an unforgettable lesson. You may not agree with Frank Graham’s parenting style, but there’s a dad who was involved. I’d say looking at the results, Mr. Graham did pretty good. Imagine how different our nation would be today, if we had some more “old school” dads that weren’t afraid to apply some discipline, wisdom, instruction and even tough love.
I praise God every day that I had a dad like that. When it came time for me to be a dad, I had the best example a man could ask for to help me learn the ropes of fatherhood. Sadly, these days, many young men become fathers and don’t know what to do, because they either had lousy dad or no dad at all. Some guys end up making it up as they go, others do the opposite of what their dads did. Thankfully, we don’t have to reinvent the wheel. God wrote the best parenting manual of all time. The book of Proverbs contains some timeless wisdom on how fathers can exert a positive influence in guiding and shaping their children. For example:
“My son, do not forget my teaching, but let your heart keep my commandments, for length of days and years of life and peace they will add to you.” (Pro. 3:1-2). Fathers, teach your kids the truth of God’s Word for it will save them from a lot of heartache and regret.
“In the fear of the Lord one has strong confidence, and his children will have a refuge.” (Pro. 14:26) Fathers, if you want your kids to enjoy security and have a sense of identity then show them what it means to submit to God’s authority.
“The righteous who walks in his integrity—blessed are his children after him!” (Pro. 20:7) Fathers, your kids are going to imitate what they see on a daily basis – are you leading them to the Lord?
“Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline drives it far from him.” (Pro. 22:15). Fathers, dare to discipline your kids. Don’t try to be their friend. Be their parent. They actually crave rules, limits and structure. Give it to them so they don’t grow up to be a fool.
“Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” (Pro. 22:6). Fathers, your children are each unique. Study your child. Find out how he or she has been uniquely wired by the Creator. Discover what motivates them, what their gifts are, where their fallen nature is “bent.” Then you can train them in the path of righteousness. That training you invested in during their younger years will set them on a firm foundation they won’t be likely to stray from.
That’s just a sample, of what Proverbs has to offer us dads. That’s distilled truth that if applied correctly can make any strong father. I don’t remember where I first learned this, but its always stuck with me. Here’s a great acrostic that every man can remember. If you want to be a great dad, then remember these four principles.
Direction: You are the archer, the kids are the arrows.
The goal is Christ-likeness. Aim wisely, you only get one shot before they are
launched out into the world.
Availability: Make time for your kids. Be there for
them and stay involved.
Discipline: Be firm. Be fair. But also remember to be
fun.
Spirituality: You can’t be the dad God has called you to be unless you are walking with Christ daily. Pray every day for God’s guidance and feed your own soul with His Word.
There’s no greater privilege
and no greater responsibility than being a dad. You don’t have to be perfect,
but you do have to be all-in. -DM
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