Tuesday, June 12, 2018

Decide to be a Dad


Image result for psalm 128


In Psalm 128 we read about God’s plan for the man. The father described in this passage fears God and as a result he has the blessing of God on his life. One of the great blessings he enjoys is a family, “3 Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house; your children will be like olive shoots around your table. 4 Behold, thus shall the man be blessed who fears the Lord.”

The symbolic comparison of the kids to an olive shoot is fitting. In Israel there are olive trees everywhere. The shoots of new growth grow out of the base of the olive tree, just as a father’s feet are crowded with children walking beside him. Though the olive tree may not bear after it has been planted for forty years, it is a symbol of longevity and productivity. Likewise with children raised in the household of faith. They are not like grass, which is here today but is gone tomorrow. Rather, they are like olive shoots that in due time bear their fruit for many years.

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Olive shoots

Just as a farmer must lovingly nurture and cultivate an olive tree, so too a father must spend time instructing his children and being involved in their daily life. The decision to be a father is not just a delivery room decision. It is a daily decision. A century ago, dads were on-site parents, working the farm or running the family store. Children spent a great deal of their time alongside their parents, working together. But in our modern culture, employment distances most dads from their kids. Some dads leave home before the children are awake. Others arrive home long after the kids are home from school. Consequently, it is possible, even common, for a father to forget about fathering—to emotionally disconnect himself from his children. Throughout the day, every day, dads need to renew their “dad” decision. “Will I attend this convention?” “Is this meeting essential?” “Can I rearrange these appointments to get home earlier?” On the way home from work, dads have to decide to take off the work hat and put on the “dad” hat. It’s a decision to manage his time, carefully reconciling work with the priority of family.

In his book, Achieving Success Without Failing Your Family, Paul Faulkner describes the decisions of an insurance executive. Speaking at a businessmen’s convention, the man stressed the importance of being a father first. The man’s daughter was in the audience. In the middle of his talk he had turned to her and asked, “Sweetheart, do you remember the time I won the million-dollar salesman three years in a row?” And she said, “No, Dad, I don’t guess I do.” And then he asked, “Well, do you remember when we used to have those Dairy Queen dates?” And she said, “Oh, yes!” The speaker turned to the audience to make the point that daughters don‘t remember when you sell a million dollars worth of insurance, but they do remember time spent with them.[1] In other words dad, “love” is not spelled L-O-V-E but T-I-M-E. -DM


[1] Paul Faulkner, Achieving Success Without Failing Your Family, (West Monroe, LA, Howard Publishing, 1994), 143-144.

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