As
a 17-year-old Anne Graham Lotz, the daughter of Billy and Ruth Graham, was
involved in a car accident. Speeding carelessly down a windy mountain road,
Anne smashed into her neighbor, Mrs. Pickering. Anne was too afraid to tell her
father about the accident, so for the rest of the day she kept avoiding him.
When she finally came home, she tried to tiptoe around her dad, but there he
was, standing in the kitchen.
Anne
tells what happened next: I paused for what seemed a very long moment frozen in
time. Then I ran to him and threw my arms around his neck . . . I told him
about my wreck—how I'd driven too fast and smashed into the neighbor's car. I
told him it wasn't her fault; it was all mine. As I wept on his shoulder, he
said four things to me:
1)
“Anne, I knew all along about your wreck. Mrs. Pickering came straight up the
mountain and told me—and I was just waiting for you to come and tell me
yourself.” 2) “I love you.” 3) “We can fix the car. The car is replaceable, but
you are not.” 4) “You are going to be a better driver because of this.”
Anne
reflected on that moment by writing, “Sooner or later, all of us are involved
in some kind of wreck—it may be your own fault or someone else's. When the
damage is your fault, there's a good chance you'll be confronted by the
flashing blue lights of the morality police. But my father gave me a deeper understanding
of what it means to experience the loving, forgiving embrace of my Heavenly
Father.”[1]
That
story has a powerful principle that every father needs to take note of—namely,
that our kids first learn about the heart of our Heavenly Father from their earthly
father. Dads, whether we realize it or not, we are modeling before our kids
what the heart of a father looks like. As children grow up and begin learning
how the Bible describes God as our Heavenly Father, they will naturally form their
first theological sketch of God based off what they saw in us!
In
his book, The Case for Grace, Christian
apologist Lee Strobel contends that many of the world’s most ardent skeptics
and atheists rejected the biblical concept of a loving Heavenly Father because
they had such a broken and soured relationship with their dads. Strobel adds, “Many
well-known atheists through history including—Friedrich Nietzsche, David Hume,
Bertrand Russell, John-Paul Sartre, Albert Camus, Arthur Schopenhauer, Ludwig
Feuerbach, Voltaire, H.G. Wells, Madeline Murray O’Hare and others—had felt deeply
disappointed with their fathers making it less likely they would want to know a
Heavenly Father.”[2]
Evangelist
and scholar Josh McDowell, also struggled to overcome the long shadow cast by
his violent alcoholic father. Josh admitted, “I grew up believing that fathers hurt.
People would tell me, ‘There’s a Heavenly Father who loves you,’ That didn’t
bring joy. It brought pain because I could not discern the difference between a
Heavenly Father and an earthly father.”[3] It took Josh years to work
through his issues and discover the truth about God’s unconditional love for
him.
Positively
or negatively fathers play the most significant role in the spiritual
development of their children. Men let’s not forget our high and holy calling
to be the shepherds of our household. In Ephesians 6:4 we read, “Fathers, do
not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and
instruction of the Lord.” I wonder dad have you asked yourself lately, “What
have my kids learned about God by watching me?”
Men
we should be driven to our knees daily, because of the weight of this
incredible responsibility. We cannot do this job alone. We need God’s guidance,
grace and wisdom to be suitable examples of God’s character to our kids. -DM
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